I’m Voting for Mittrack Obamney…

I’ve made up my mind: I’m voting for Mittrack Obamney, the candidate of the Demopulsivicans.

Am I crazy? Do I really think that Obama is as much of a shape-shifter as that man with the coat of many colors, Mitt Romney? No, not really. However, I’ve heard rumors that Obama has purchased a crate for the White House dog and some bungy cords to strap it on the roof of the Marine Helicopter. There are also vicious rumors that der Mittski is making statements about the similarity of the LDS Church and the Baptists. I agree. They’re both based on nonsense, though the LDS is more fun. It’s kinda like Lord of the Rings without any lovable hobbits or noble elves and dwarfs. Well, really…

Obamney, my new candidate, has a catchy slogan. “Let’s Put the Dollar Sign Back in the Center of the U$A.”  Like it? Yeah, I don’t either. Obamney is in favor of eliminating taxes for large corporations and people who accumulate more than $2,000,000 (*that’s 2 million dollars) a year without any of the money coming from earned income. Obamney is in favor of limiting abortions to no more than 15 minutes after inception, plenty of time for a girl to know…and a guy to run. Obamney is opposed to any of the isms,  you know, like communism, atheism, masturbationism

Health care? Obamney will make the government print pamphlets written by Preacher Casey, of Tom Joad fame: There Will Be Pie in the Sky When You Die…(That’s a Lie…) as Woodie Guthrie liked to remind us. Maybe we can find a new and better Surgeon General, someone in the mode of Jack Kevorkian to deal with those aches and pains of old age.

I do not find the path either Obama or Romney are taking to be encouraging. Or did you figure that out?

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