Dikka: the 2016 Presidential Hopeful Ailment


Des Moines, an impoverished city on the plains of Iowa, is in the grip of a health nightmare after presidential hopefuls began showing up at debates exhibiting abnormally small and pointy heads, an ailment transmitted by excessive amounts of cash, arrogance and ego known to scientists as Dikka. The disease seems impervious to calls from the public to moderate insane utterances; it’s also oblivious to sex, race or political party.

Physicians queried about this condition refer to it as Dikka Head. Doctors say it’s been observed during past political campaigns but never to the degree exhibited in 2016. The only known cure for the ailment is absolute, total humiliation and loss of all respect and money. Even that anodyne is likely to prove ineffective considering the virulence of Dikka among this group. Fears include spread of the disease across the nation. Some scientists report outbreaks of Dikka Head in the upper ranks of corporate leadership and finance. It’s also been noticed in the widely publicized individuals known to the cognoscenti as celebrities.

The first recorded instances of Dikka were among religious icons and military leaders and it was talked about as much as four thousand years in the past.

Democratic U.S. presidential candidates (L-R) former Governor Martin O'Malley, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders at the start at the NBC News - YouTube Democratic presidential candidates debate in Charleston, South Carolina January 17, 2016. REUTERS/Randall Hill  - RTX22T5B

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