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BLACK FRIDAY! CYBER MONDAY! bullshit everyday.

BLACK FRIDAY! LOWEST PRICES IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSESE! NEVER LOWER!

uh…yeah…

Couple of months ago I purchased a six-quart Insta-Pot for my significant other. (Had to cut her into pieces ‘fore she’d fit into the thing. OK, the pot was a gift for my S.O.) I paid $80 for the sucker from an on-line marketer. Wow. If only I had waited. We’d have missed a few nice meals S.O. had prepared using the device but I could have saved, saved…saved? Well, it’s on sale just for BLACK FRIDAY for $80.

Gawd Damn.

I know I’m not the only person who is sick of this endless marketing. EVERY FUCKING DAY SALE! LOWEST PRICES IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE! NEVER LOWER!

EVERY DAY IS S.H.I.T. DAY. (For the illiterati, that’s So Happy It’s Today day.)

What is Cyber Monday and why is it a special sale day? After all, Cyber Monday is just the Monday after Black Friday. Should this be a reason for inundating everyone with an email account with senseless, worthless and insulting sales offers?

I suppose so.

Lies are the new truth. Black is the new white. Fat is the new skinny. Every day is special…in it’s own way. It’s…S.H.I.T. Day.

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TrumP: Grab Her

‘Nuff said.

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Actually, you know what I mean…

How many of us remember when actually was a simple adverb inserted occasionally into speech or written communications? Let’s try that again: How many of us actually remember when actually was actually a simple adverb inserted occasionally into speech or written communications?

Yeah, you know what I mean. Actually has become one of those parts of speech that is used to fill empty spaces that would be far better left. Empty. No words employed. At all. You know what I mean?

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Insults, shaming and anonymity…nothing new…

I keep encountering an increasing quantity of stories concerning the omnipresence of insults, shaming (which I sense is another term for being insulted) and the incidence of vile comments on the Internet. Well, it ain’t new, folks; it’s just an adjunct of anonymity.

Anonymity has always lent itself as a protective cover for what are usually cowardly comments. Cowardly? Well, how many of the boys hurling invective would do so by themselves–no crowd of thugs surrounding them for protection–or if their real, personal identity were to be attached to every post, every insult, every profanity that passes their lips?

Still, it ain’t new.

In Greek times political commentary was often written using false names, nom de plumes employed in an attempt to divert the anger of the masses. Two thousand or so years later, the telephone became a wonderful way to hide one’s identiy when making irritating, obscene or threatening statements. An army cliche brought up the colonel who called a unit orderly room on the phone. The call was answered by a male voice saying, “hello…” instead of the obligatory “Bravo Two One (or whatever unit…), Corporal whomever speaking. May I help you, sir?” The colonel vented his spleen before asking who he was talking to. “You don’t know?” the voice asked. “No…” the colonel answered.

“Well, fuck you, asshole…”

Internet forums are filled with such comments. I abstain from Twitter and such but I’m sure it’s much worse than a simple forum. After all, the President lurks there, he and his legions of mindless mouthbreathers, knuckledraggers, boys who enjoy sex with their mothers, people who gobble human feces with a fork and other similar creatures.

But it isn’t new. Not at all.

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A “Good” Government Shutdown!

The current soi disant President of the US is quoted as saying, “We need a good shutdown,” referring, of course, to a closure of most US government offices and downtime for most US government employees.

Isn’t this an oxymoron? Is there such a beast as a good government shutdown? Yes, I understand that the fatman in DC will soon pucker his lips in his inimitable simulation of fellatio and chide the press for not understanding sly sarcasm. Is what he writes at 4AM on Twitter really a form of sarcasm?

I don’t think so. Neither does my cat. (I refer to said feline because our opinions are of roughly equal importance.)  However, going along with the concept of a good government shutdown, let’s examine other occurances we might need.

What about a Good Nuclear War? Certainly our relationship with the other crazy fat man…the one in North Korea…makes this a possibility at same point in the reasonably near future.

Consider postulating, “my wife needs a…good beating?” Hmmm? Or even, “I need a good beating?” Likely there are people who would agree with the latter suggestion, including some readers of this drivel.

What we need is a good earthquake. Surely the PotoS in DC (Yeah, it’s correct. Pot of Shit.) believes folks on the left coast deserve a massive quiver in the faultline culminating in a slide into the Pacific.

What our nation needs is a good impeachment and conviction. Hopefully that event will occur before the nuclear war or even the government shutdown.

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April Fools

Donald Trump, accompanied by his wife, daughter, sons and son-in-law all gathered around the Presidential Oval Office trough, has signed into law a decree that designates officially which Americans are April Fools.

All of us. Every American, regardless of how they voted, political party membership, height, weight, gender identification, hopes, dreams, goals and moral turpitude (or lack thereof) is officially designated an April Fool.

Unfortunately for Americans (and, unfortunately for the rest of the world, too, each and every human, animal, plant, fish, or inanimate object on the planet is encompassed by this legislation), the decree specifies that each and every day of each and every year is officially designated: April Fools’ Day.

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Fake News: Part…uh…2.38…or maybe part 2.5…

I planned back a month and a half or so ago…another aeon in today’s world…to finish the third part of “Fake News.” What a joke. All news is fake news, so it now seems. We have alternative facts proferred in place of…what? Real facts? According to the New American Oxford Dictionary, a fact is a thing that is indisputably the case, or, to quote the WordWeb Pro On-Line Dictionary, a fact is a concept whose truth can be proved. Well, that’s the fourth defination of fact listed on WWP.

Fuck me running, to quote Kurt Vonnegut and several other men who had such a daring way with words. Back in the day, as some old codgers mumble, a fact was simply the truth. Not a Bill Clintonesque distortion of depends on what IS is. Well, the truth is no longer…the truth. We’ve tumbled through the looking glass, we’re down the rabbit hole, we believe six impossible things every morning before the first bite of an egg McMuffin or a swallow of 197 degree coffee that we’re about to spill on our laps thus scalding our nuts and putting us in line for a big liability payout. ‘Course with no nuts we’ll merely pass the reward on to our kids or grandkids who can use it…wisely.

So: here’s our tautology for the day. At some point I either will or will not finish this three-part series concerning fake news. That’s the truth.

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Fake News – Part I

I’ve been seeing, encountering, reading more articles about…Fake News. Fake News? Yeah, the shit stories spread by minions of Donald Strumpet’s BFF Vlad Putin. Lies written by guys and girls working in alt.right dark environs like bugs under piles of feces and comments posted at the end of legitimate stories by paid shills for the creeps who are destroying our nation.

Note: Fake news as I understand the term excludes errors, misconceptions and poor research so endemic to newspapers and magazines. I should probably exclude radio, television and Internet writings from consideration as sources of fake news as these three categories predominently consist of erroneous material. Remove the fake news from radio, TV and the Internet and there would be no news at all.

The fake news so decried recently is merely our current iteration of fake news. In reality–if there is such a condition as reality–fake news might well have begun before there was real news.

David Brinkley–he of Huntly and Brinkley on NBC TV for those who aren’t old enough to remember the guy–was the speaker at an RTNDA convention (Radio Television News Directors’ Association). Brinkley noted, “The problem with TV News is it presents no news with the same emphasis that it presents news,” or words to that effect. I’m not quoting from an archive story, this is what I remember him saying, more or less.

He was right. I was a television journalist back in the 70s and when our small operation (WDTB-TV, Channel 13, an NBC affiliate at the time) in the panhandle of Florida had no real news stories, we presented whatever we could find. After all, we had to fill thirty minutes with something. OK, not really 30 minutes, since we had 6 minutes of commercials, 4 minutes of weather presentation, between 6 minutes of sports, another minute involved in intros, outros and segues, leaving us with between 12 and 14 minutes to shovel full of news or something that purported to be new. This sometimes included a local lede that was not really a lede (or lead, if that’s how you prefer the spelling). “City fathers announce funding for a new stop light at the corner of main and 7th…” uttered with urgency and backed by a chromakey slide of a stop light.

Part of a small market operation (larger markets, too) involved keeping a few video segments on hand that could be used to keep from having one of our female staff performing a strip on camera (thanks, Donald, for the suggestion…Megyn…que up David Rose…) while we searched for something to read. Where did those fillers come from? They magically appeared in the mail, sent to us from politicians, corporations, public relations companies, and so on, who knew the need for a well-produced segment to keep the system from toppling into the sounds of silence or a moment of the ever ready “We’re currently encountering technical difficulties” slide.

Did we vet the mail-in material? Sometimes. Maybe. Reels of two inch video were usually accompanied by a print read of the script. Maybe someone in news would read the shit. Other over-the-transom submissions were 16mm film, often with an optical sound track, sometimes with a magnetic track of single-system sound, occasionally with a separate script we could read.

Fake news, people.

All this nonsense with filler was worse when considering print journalism. Thousands of trees, maybe even millions, lost the lives to be pulped into pages of crap that appeared in newspapers without a cavaet concerning the source. If there was sufficient time available, the shit might have been rewritten or at least edited. Often it appeared with no more than a cursory jab with a pencil, a line or three deleted as too blatent to print…or maybe not even that. Images–yeah, black and white glossy prints which could be sized and tossed in to fill two or three, maybe even four columns wide by a proportionate number of inches deep with screened nothingness. Wonderful stuff to have when the advertising department came in with several inches of classifieds causing the paper to expand by two or four pages.

Some of this filler was submitted by political groups, people with an agenda other than just selling a product. Some–maybe even much–of it was ugly, material that shouldn’t have appeared in print because it was never vetted, questionable in value or occasionally even blatantly false.

Sounds much like what we encounter today, doesn’t it? Where did the term Yellow Journalism originate? Sure, with the color of the paper…but the moniker really referred to the content, the agenda-driven material that sucked readers into an emotional maelstorm of nonsense. Example: Remember the Maine? I don’t and I’m relatively old so I doubt you do either. Stories about the USS Maine’s destruction in Havana harbor led directly to a confrontation with Spain and the ensuing war. The perfidious Spaniards planted a fucking bomb in the innards of the ship and caused it to explode, destroying not just the ship but several hundred lives…at least according to the stories printed in newspapers from coast to coast of the United States.

False news, as it turned out to be. Likely culprit for the explosion was coal dust in the bin in the heart of the USS Maine. Oh, well. Tooo late.

In Part II of False News, we’ll look at stories which incited wars, destroyed nations and cost vast amounts of money and human lives. Part III of False News will move into the modern day lies of the Internet.

 

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Hillary Clinton says she won’t lie to us…um…about…is…depends…

Hillary Clinton appearing in an interview on CBS news says she won’t lie to us. To quote Hillary when asked if she’s prevaricated to the American people, she said, “I don’t believe I ever have. I don’t believe I ever have. I don’t believe I ever will. I am going to do the best I can to level with the American people.” 16-03-02-hilliesTo bring back a quote of her hubby’s, “depends on what ‘is’ is…” Such careful parsing of lawyerly terminology immediately occurred to many people from around the world.

Alas, following Super Tuesday, I shall paraphrase Pogo: We have met the loser and he is us…

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Freedom’s Just Another Word for Do What I Want You to Do

Freedom, the freedom to post on Facebook, Twitter, You-Tube, Google +, etc., means no more than contributing your personal information (data about purchases, interests, fears, wants, etc…) in return for participating in an Internet exchange of mostly meaningless material. We all know–or we should all know–that this is the deal. Many of us, both young and old, continue to participate in the social mediums. Note: I don’t. If you do, great. I don’t choose to make this trade. I’m whored out enough by the information available in my credit reports, my VA and US Army records, my tax files, etc.

Where is this going? Father Obama, He in Washington–one of many in that sprawling mass of power, money and corruption–who sees a threat in private citizens owning, carrying and using firearms, has made clear his opinion.

Now those folks who choose to post on social media concerning their weapons based businesses, their participation in shooting sports and the techniques available for improving one’s shooting abilities are discovering that freedom to post on social media is being truncated. Sales and information postings are being rejected. Click here for more information on this change in social media standards.

Strange for a group of outlets that revel in standing up for the freedom to post veiled threats–and sometimes not so veiled threats–between husband and wife, bullying children, angry boys and girls, on and on; who revel in publicizing practices that many people find offensive, now want to shut the door on a legal activity because they don’t feel comfortable around…guns. Well, you can wall around town with your penis in your hand but don’t put your pistol in your belt.

Why don’t I post on social media?

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