Coffee and Heart Disease

OK, more information on heart disease, to be specific: coffee and heart disease. Before reading my drivel, you might want to scan this article in the New York Times written by Dr. Aaron Carroll, a pediatrician. Now, assuming you read the Time’s health story, has anyone told you not to drink java ’cause it’s bad for you? If so, you’re certainly not alone. A couple of doctors at Tucson’s University Medical Center where I was ensconced as a patient at the time asked me whether I was a heavy caffeine consumer, as if that would have explained my myocardial infarction (commonly known as an FHA, a fucking heart attack). I told the dudes in scrubs I drank one cup every morning. They told me to stop, cease and desist, throw away my supply of green coffee beans, my roaster, my espresso machine. Did they have proof that caffeine is the big killer? Nooo…but they be sure, just like my ex-wife was sure I was screwing every woman I met.

Read Caldwell Esselstyn’s Forks Over Knives (or watch the documentary, which is much better than the book). An admission: I’m a vegetarian, I think Esselstyn’s on the right track as far as not eating meat and processed foods, but I think he tosses in all his other prejudices such as don’t drink coffee. Dr. Essylstein reminds me of my high school football coach who frequently told us, players on what was demonstrably one of the worst football teams in the state of Florida at that time, that the reason we lost so many games was masturbation. Hmmm? Yeah, coach said we lost ’cause we all wanked too often. What proof did he have that his players polished the bobby’s helmet when they should have been doing sprints? Stains on the uni’s? Not…hardly. Just his intrinsic dislike of one of nature’s great relief valves. I think the good Dr. Esselstyn has much in common with my coach.